I have been separated from my husband for one year.There are two daughters (one, a four year old, is his child) who have lived with me and for whom I have responsibility. We own a home which neither of us has lived in for the last year. I rented an apartment for the girls and myself due to difficulties too numerous to go int at this time unless, of course, it would be helpful, for reasons of safety and peace. He soon also left the house to live with his parents. I do wish to add that my parents, who live about three hours away in the same state were ready, willing and quite able to move us there for familial support and employment but he refused to allow us to go. Although there was never any legal agreement, I have allowed unlimited access and visitation to both him and his family this year(at least 3 or more times a week at his request). He has given us very limited monies ( one or two hundred plus gift money for his daughter for Christmas) sporatically on his whim. Our plan is to divorce following a mediation meeting scheduled for the 25th of January 2012. Our relationship has been extremely "rocky" to say the lease this year but we managed to get this far toward our plans. To add to the difficulty however, in December I lost my job and in my rental lease is up this month. At this moment I am basically jobless and my girls and I are homeless. I do receive a small unemployment check and would like to return to school to complete my degree. I suggested that the girls and I move back into the house ( which is now in foreclosure due to the fact that he did not make any mortgage payments on the house after he left many months ago and is also becoming in disrepair) so that we would have a place to live and in turn I would care for the house and do what I could to help pay the mortgage and perhaps salvage our investment. We are both on the deed but only he is responsible for the mortgage. Reluctantly he agreed we could move back in until I finish school or until the fate of the house was decided which ever came first. This last week end the girls and I moved back into the house. Since that time he has come uninvited to " lay down the law" and conditions for my living there. There is to be no one in the house, friends or family unless he agrees who it will be. He can enter or even move back into the house at will. Conjugal rights for rent were mentioned. Upon refusal, he became very angry(not unusual), ranted his dictates throughout the house, shoved me when I ignored him and grabbed my phone when it rang to see who was calling. The children were present. Finally since I would not respond to him, he left. I do so appreciate your patience with this lengthy report but I simply do not know what to do at this point. Stalking and harassment cannot be tolerated obviously but I do not know his rights as joint owner of the house and what I should do at this late date in the planned divorce procedures. Please respond as soon as possible as I am not sure of his next move. Thank you very much,.
Answer
You need to get an attorney and stop playing with this man. First and foremost - you need to file for divorce and for a Peititon for a temporary needs order for support and possession of the martial home. This way he can not come in. You need child support for the one child that is his. whose idea is it for mediation - is this with an attorney? I suspect this is just another stall until he decides to let you go. On the alternative - if neither of you have filed papers, then take your children to your mother's house and file in that county ASAP for a divorce. This man is controlling and will only result in something bad.
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